Tagged : I'm tired of everything

It's 30 minutes past midnite. After several hours of continuous sleep the whole day yesterday, I could not even get to lay my head on the pillow for a doze.. It's Monday morning by the way. Yeap, I spent the whole Sunday sleeping and doing nothing fruitful. And all that because of the medication that i took to relieve my dear self from the cough, sore throat and also flu that kept on bugging me since last week. So here I am, not being able to sleep, hence forcing myself to write something in here..

I have been postponing putting up an entry in this blog for quite some time. Just waiting for the right moment before getting down to business, hehe... Guess this is the right time then, huh?

Life so far has been ...... full of downs rather than ups.

I have been constantly swarmed with negative feelings, most of them I can't comprehend. Most of the time, I'll be sitting in a corner and cry. And after all those episodes, I just realised that deep down in my heart, I am not happy.

All this while, I have been faking smiles after smiles. Truth is, I am not happy at all.

I am holding grudges, resentment, frustration and also anger not only to myself, but to everyone that matters most to me.

I had an episode again just now. Waking up and staring at the watch, I realised that i had been moping all day in my room. And then, I started to cry all over again. I cried for a good 30 minutes. God! This is so depressing. I am sick of being in this kind of state.

I just want change. Change for the better. But yet, in me wanting to achieve change, I am afraid of change altogether. Is this normal? Can I even have those two contradictory feelings side by side. Like, 15 minutes of wanting, and another 15 miutes thereafter of fearing?

Life is so full of mysteries. I just hope that one day I would be able to know what is best for myself.

Aside from me experiencing 'cuckoo-ness' phase, a lot of things happened since i last posted an entry. For one, there's Hannah's birthday party that the family organised successfully, (i must say). Then there's the Sunburst Festival in which i got free tix from p's sis, khad (thanks babe). Managed to only watch The Roots and also John Legend (in which these were the only two acts that I wanted to watch, and no one else).

Then there's me having one friday off and venturing into KL city centre with P. Fun, huh??

I will post soon. In the meantime, here are some pics. Oh yeah, pardon my chubbiness, hahaha... am sooooo fat now!! will need to diet asap, erk!!!!

*muahss*

Hannah's Birthday cake, courtesy of Yours Truly.... Cute huh??

With sis and the birdie mascot from MacDonalds

Hannah blowing the candles

Cutting the cake

Me and Cimeen!!

One for the camera..... the people who made the party possible

Pic taken by brother using his friend's Canon DSLR camera

Cimeen, meself and cousin, Emi

Waiting for John Legend to perform after The Roots, woohoo!

Mr. John Legend himself. Sooooo...... hemsem i tell u!

And such a crooner too!! *meltzz*

Us with our muka 'tak larats'


The Friday outing. P being anal by purposely pressing the wrong button. Like, duhh!!

This pic was not suppose to be here. salah sequence, hahaha

From LVMH building after repairing P's watch, to Pavilion....

'Izzi Restaurant', the place where the owner told me and P (in his Indo accent), 'Montok itu bagussssss!!".... Hated him for saying me montok...cheh!

Posing near one of the F1 cars displayed alongside Bukit Bintang Road... It's the F1 week btw

Being touristy now, forcing P to snap pictures in KL city centre. Like, so kiasu or what?? In front of Pavilion..... hehehehe

Kiasu some more, uhuhuhu.....

Me snapping a pic of myself in front of Shu Umuera's lash bar.... and P looking at who i have no idea!!! Cheh....

I am officially being touristy. Me with the Uhu-hu gals of The Loaf... hohoho

Seen here teaching P how to be a camwhore.... LOL!!

Bored waiting for him trying shoes @ Nike

Uhu!Hu! cheesecakes from The Loaf. Only for the month of March...

So cute right??? And delish too! Yummy!

Ooops.... Realised that I have taken 2 hours to blog this entry. Need to force myself to sleep now. Tomorrow's a working day..... Ciao!!

How Now??

What is it about me and not eating according to time? I just don't know, but it's as if I have been ignoring my body's need for food. So much so that I have yet to have my lunch, and it's now 2.30 pm! *sigh* I think someone should monitor my food intake and also my meal time. Judging from the gastric episode I had 2 weeks back (in which I hope there will not be another episode of it!), it's high time that I take care of my tummy. And by that, I mean eating according to time, and only consuming healthy food, and not junk food that's easily available everywhere you go nowadays.

On another note, I am slowly drowning in my own feeling of resentment (to a heck of a LOT of people). Those that made me adore them, and those that made me hate them. I so am resenting them now!

I hate you people..... All of you. Even to those that I love and care about.

Hate, hate, hate........