Live & Loud KL 2007 - R&B night

Between being an 'energizer bunny' and literally feeling sick with my profession, I must admit, I kind of like my work right now. Be as it may, ie. the agony, the pain and the suffering, I can still imagine myself running in and out of court for another year or so. Crazy, innit?

Sometimes life should be monotonous and mundane. Other times, life should be exciting and exhilarating. My life so far? It has its ups and downs. As for my current state, I am bored, exhausted, and tired! Three words that perfectly describes yours truly's shameful state and/or condition.

But yesterday, something wonderful happened.

A close friend of yours truly, Deb, called up around lunchtime to deliver some good news.

She got free tickets for the Live & Loud R&B Concert tonite!!!

Yours truly was ecstatic! And excited! And so looking forward to just chill and have a good time.

So off yours truly went on a mission to replenish all the good vibes that somehow went astray from her aching heart and soul.

It was a nite of 'janji melayu', screaming teens, and aching feet!! But it was worthwhile all the same. Yours truly was tired at the end, but still felt happy.

Somehow, there's more to life than just penguin power suits, aching hearts, emptiness and resentment.

Yours truly is blessed to have her cool friends that adore her, and cool relatives that, one way or the other, still have to love her despite her emotional instability.

OK folks. Am trying to upload pics from last night's concert, but somehow the idiot uploader's giving me problems. So I'll just have to upload it some other time...

Now yours truly's pissy... =\

Because of YOU!!

Want to, but I can't help it

I love the way you feel

Just kinda stuck between my fantasy and what is real

I need it when I want it

I want it when I don't

Tell myself "I'll stop" every day, knowing that I won't

I got a problem and I

Don't know what to do about it

Even if I did I don't know if I would quit but I doubt it,

I’m Takin' by the thought of it

[chorus]

And I know this much is true

Baby you have become my addiction

I’m so strung out on you

I can barely move

But I'm likin' it

And it's all because of you (All because of you)

And it's all because of you (All because of you)

And it's all because of you (All because of you)

And it's all because

Never get enough,

she’s the sweetest drug

think of it every second

I can't get nothing done

Only concern is the next time I’m gon' get me some

Know I should stay away from

'Cause it's no good for me

I try and try but my obsession won't let me leave

I got a problem and I

Don't know what to do about it

even If I did I don't know If I would quit but I doubt it,

I’m Taking by the thought of it Hey!

[chorus]

And I know this much is true

Baby you have become my addiction

I’m so strung out on you

I can barely move

But I'm likin' it

And it's all because of you (All because of you)

And it's all because of you (All because of you)

And it's all because of you (All because of you)

And it's all because

Never get enough (Never get enough),

she’s the sweetest drug

Ain't no doubt (No doubt)

So strung out (Strung out)

Ain't no doubt (There's aint no doubt)

So strung out Over you Over you...

Because of you

And it's all because of you

Never get enough

She's the sweetest drug

She's the sweetest drug

My Becoming

I like this picture.

Reason : Cos it looks nice. And I look happy.

Truth is, I was GENUINELY happy that day.

The fact that I have everyone I adore and love around me. It beats getting high on nicotine or drugs, heheheh.....

But somehow I was a bit dissapointed yesterday.

Seemed like the one I really love is avoiding whatever plan that I have for the holidays with him.

I felt so used. And stupid.

And for a while I thought to myself :-

"This is MY reason for living, and yet he does not seem to think that I am HIS to begin with".

I ended up waking at 430 a.m., tossing and turning and thinking to myself yet again.

This is crazy. This has to end!

Whether the way I want it to or otherwise, I just can't go through this anymore.

But tell me : How do you let go of someone so precious to you??

This is me. Look at me. I want you to love me. I want you to need me. I want you to tell me that I am your everything.

I don't want you to say : 'Whatever'.

I don't want you to even say : 'See la how'.

I don't want you to give up on me.

A lot of 'I don't wants' here, I know.

But sometimes, those 'I don't wants' are actually what I want at this point. So please. Think of what I want for a change.

*sob*sob*

A card for D

It's been ages.
Have not written for a long time now.
Sometimes you just need a break from everything.
Other times you just stop doing things because there's no reason for you to do so.
My absence was due to the latter.

I miss writing in here. In truth, I miss spilling my crazy yet 'made sense thoughts' on paper (erm, online is more like it).

So today, as I was busily washing the dishes in the kitchen (the whole family decided to get rid of the 'much anticipated' maid last weekend due to a tantrum thrown at my mum on saturday morning), I had this urge of writing something. Just for the sake of it. Just because.

But most importantly, I want to write again so that I could remember what it's like at the moment. What I did, how I felt, what possibly was the reason, the lots......

So let's see...

I had bad PMS yesterday, resulting in me curling up on my bed from noon til night time. It gotten worse overnight, so I went to the clinic for a medical certificate in order for me to rest at home. Doctor gave me a painkiller that she claimed was effective to reduce the discomfort. She was a family GP, the doctor, so I stayed in her examintaion room for a good 20 minutes, chit chatting about my mum, amongst other things, and also about my work, lovelife, holidays and everything under the sun.

After a good 20 minutes later, and after realising that I'm actually talking to a qualified doctor, suddenly i blurted :-

Me : Doctor, I've been having this bad pimples along my jawline for sometime now. Googled it and found out that it's called 'jawline acne', ie also known as adult acne. Do you have anything that i could take to get rid of the problem?

Dr : Ahhhh. I can prescribe you with an antibiotic. It's just a 7 day course. You'd be fine by then, hopefully.

Me : Hopefully.

Dr : Hanis, is that keloid? (asked the doctor while looking at my chest)

Me : Oh that. Yeah. Been seeing Dr. Lim from SMC for my steroid injections to make sure it's not reddish and swelling.

Dr : Oh okay.(Pause). That's weird. (Pause). You don't have any Chinese blood in you, right?

Me : Nope (Pause for a good 2 minutes). But my uncle married my aunt who's a Chinese. But that doesn't count, does it?

Dr : (Laughing hysterically). You're funny Hanis!!


Okayyyyyy. I didn't mean it as a joke. Seriously. But come to think of it, I might've said that because I was a bit 'blur sotong' at the time.

Or I might be in my 'bimbo mode'. But it was nice to see someone laugh at my 'jokes' (but bukan joke ok. Ia adalah satu fakta yang I rasa patut diberitahu kepada orang ramai....).

Then went to Memory Lane to get a birthday card for someone whose birthday falls in November. Got a funny/homourous one so as not to be confused as 'having the hots' for that someone. Though sometimes I'd like to think that I do.

Hmmmmm........

Then went to my office (so much for a day off ehh??) to get tomorrow's Court matter.

Now am here on my bed. Blogging.

Oh yeah. Just got a call from the Head of Legal & Regulatory of Air Asia X. She wants to meet me up tomorrow for a chat cum interview. How fast!! I only e-mailed my resume this morning, amidst my stomach cramps and moody self.

Now am having jitters, and thinking what to wear for the meet.

But all that have to wait. Am going to write some birthday wishes in that birthday card now....

What I need the most to make my day??

A cuddle and some kisses on the forehead!!