Missing

It's Saturday....

Weeeee

And I am missing him so bad right now.

If only I could time travel and go back to that day when we first met.

Or maybe, I could go back to that day when I was supposed to've met him earlier.

I guess things would have been different.

I guess.

But that's the thing about fate. Sometimes I just don't know whether the concept of fate does exist anymore in my life.

But I do know one thing.

That I miss him badly.

=(

Up to the point where i just feel like picking up the phone and call. Up to the point where I wish I could just sms him and tell him so.

But being the stubborn me, I refrain myself.

I miss him, I miss him, I miss him.....

I Wanna Be An Old Man Too!!

I guess I had made a BIG mistake for adding my aunty in my Friendster's 'friends list' . Now, I am utterly torn between posting an entry there....

You see, most of whatever that I wrote in my Friendster blog are all that comes into my eccentirc mind at the point of time. Regardless if it's a fantasy of mine, or a reality (for something that has happened just now or yesteday), well...... let's just say that sometimes it's better for certain things to be shared with a friend or a stranger, rather than your mum & dad, and aunts and uncles too for that matter!! (grandparents and great-great grandparents included here, y'all!!).

So, in order for me to keep on writing whatever that comes into mind, I have decided to write them in here. But not to worry. My Friendster blog will still be up and running (but without the usual 'pour all my heart out' details in it to protect my reputation, hahaha).

I had a very brief, yet interesting encounter with this senior lawyer in Court today. Our meet needs no formal or usual introduction that most people do whenever crossing path with another being (hence the 'interesting encounter', geddit?).

I was on my way into one of the courtrooms when i noticed this lawyer eyeing me. Looking up ahead, I could see someone looking at me as i walked through the corridoor. Not knowing the right thing to do, I decided to do the usual thing that i always do when caught in embarassing or quirky situation : Smile at them.

And after that, he held the door open for me, and said "It's nice to see you smile early in the morning today".

Erkk. Now the situation gets even more awkward. And in my desperate attempt to stay calm and suave, I just mumbled 'eee...yeah' to him and make my way inside.

Thought that it'd be over, right?

WRONG!

This 'one kind of a specimen' lawyer decided to sit next to me. Yikes! And knowing me, eventhough i may not like entertaining small petty talks with a stranger, most of the time I would make an interesting face and let them blabber for as long as they can.

And that was what the 'senior lawyer' actually did. Chatting. Telling me stuffs. Making up jokes.

It was quite entertaining in a way. But there are a few things and remarks that he made, based on his experience and observation, which made me go, "Are you for real, old man?".

Things like :


"You know, all these young lady lawyers in KL, they definitely know how to have a good time" <--- REALLY?

"I used to have this one lady lawyer, which actually was my son's friend, coming onto me, and asking me to live together with her. But she was too clingy and possessive" <----- REALLY?

"Most lady lawyers that i know, the young ones, are highly sexed up beings" <----- REALLY, REALLY?

"I tell you, these Chinese ladies, once they get the kick of it (sex), they will want more" <---- LOL. REALLY??

Referring still to the last sentence on top : "Chinese guys are not good in bed. Not like the Indians. So when these girls got that great pampering from the right source, they want more, I tell you" <----- REALLLLYY?

His response when I stated that I am a Muslim :
"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you're not a Muslim. You don't look Malay. You look mixed" <--- SERIOUSLY? (I do get that a lot, actually).

And all the while we were talking (correction, it was actually HIM doing most of the talking), I can't help but smirk.

Seriously. What are the odds of YOU, being swarmed by all these hot chicks? (I later found out that all of the lawyers knew him, so he might be some big shot lawyer that I might not recognised. So I guess that kind of answered my question on why girls fall over him).

*Sigh*. The bliss of being an old, paunchy but famous and powerful man.....


Now tell me, do you think this would make a great post for my aunt to see?? ;)

When i am darn pissed (again) with Friendster Blog

I know that i need to apologise profusely for neglecting this blog of mine for more than a year now!!

I am bad. People (mostly friends) would bitch behind my back openly for my lack of loyalty to them. My parents, every now and then, (although i must say it's everytime now) would complain to my siblings for my lack of unity in the family.

BUT here is the THING.

That's me. I guess people would just have to accept me, flaw and all. I know. It's a bad trait. I do try to change for the better( but not that much trying on my part, i have to admit, huhuhu). But all the changes takes time.

Being the second kid in the family, i grew up only knowing that I learn things mostly from my own self. By trial and error. And of course, by looking at my big brother's action and reaction. All this time, I could postively say that whatever that i learned, I owe all of it to my dear self.

Now don't get me wrong. Both my parents are my life, my strength. Even up until now. And I can't imagine my life without them. They have shown me what it's like to be someone with dignity, with respect. They taught me how to respect others. They even taught me how to be a good person.

They are the ones that I turn to in times of need (wisdomly, AND financially). We tend to share our problems openly, but not too open to the point i tell them about my intimate life with my boyfriend or anything (so guys, rest assured that you are not in their black list. if u happen to know that you are, it might be that you are, well, a natural born and bred jack**s, haha)

I adore my parents bits and pieces. I won't allow people to talk negatively, or judge whatever decision that my parents have made for the family, or for the other family members for that matter (me included).

But what i am getting here is that, I, for one, have learned things in a harder way as compared to the rest of my siblings. They call us the 'middle child syndrome' (okay i might have created that term, but it's so true. Don't believe me? Do ask those being sandwiched between the alpha kid and the spoilt one below).

At an early stage, I know that mummy needed to give her undivided attention to my big brother. So the only person giving attention to me was my dad. Mum used to tell me how dad would take care of me, feed me, prepare milk in my baby bottle, and take me with him for my daily naps. (This is because my mum felt bad about letting my big brother grow up without much love and affection. So she showered him loads with attention, and hoping that my dad would do the same to me). But this is when he's back from work and not doing anything else. For that also, rest assured that my dad has a special place in my heart, no matter what. Eventhough now I always end up going to mum for advice. Even now when I always put my 'p' first than him. All i can say is this : My dad will always be my first love.

I know this for a fact that my mum (again) told me i missed my dad so much when he went to Chicago for 3 months to attend a course/seminar there. You should see me then. I was stick thin. My rib bones can be visibly seen due to my refusal to eat. I missed him badly up to the point where i fell sick most of the time.

I also remember my childhood days, when dad used to drive me to this small grocery store whenever I am in need of anything. Anything, ok. Just tell/whine to him about wanting something, and he would immediately drive me there and buy them for me.

That is the sacrifice that my dad did for her little girl.

And because of this, i am what I am now. Independent, stubborn, loner, opinionated. That's the 'middle child syndrome' i am talking about. Because we middle kiddies learned things ourselves, we tend to have those traits. Not that we don't need other people. It's more of 'we need our own space'. Our world is our world alone. And trust me, when we want others to be in it, we will invite them and let them in with a sincere heart.

but until that day comes, we, the middle kids, shall always need time and space, to do what they think is right (although most of the time people would perceive our action as wrong).

That's just us. Accept us.

I know I am getting a tad too emotional now. Even realised that i wrote this for this one and only reason : I hate friendster blog!! Hate them for not letting me access my blog to create a new post.

So here I am. Writing in here. To ease my frustration. To put everything in a nutsell.

And to know that I am what I am.